Oh Crap! I'm Still In School :(

So even though I am in Anaheim playing volleyball, I still have a terrorizing 15 credits left of college looming over my head ready to stomp all over me when I do actually attempt to take them out. And my academic advisor, Dennis LeBlanc, bless his heart, has me in a correspondence course this semester. He knows me well enough to know that if I don't finish school ASAP I'm going to struggle with it down the road. So, I am in an online Leadership Class. For this class, I have to read two books: Tuesdays with Morrie and Coach Wooden's Leadership Game Plan for Success, and I will be doing a lot of journaling. So, I thought it would be fun to share my journal entries on my blog. They aren't long but they have a lot to do with my volleyball journey and who I am. So here is the first journal entry. Ignore the dates on the entries...I'm a little bit behind in my class (okay five weeks behind) but, luckily my teacher is really cool about everything.

Journal Week 1: January 17^th, 2011

Expectations of this Experience

                I have had a few friends take this course, and after recently talking to one of them about their experience, they told me that they learned a lot about what kind of person they are. So, I guess I’m not entirely sure what to expect from taking this course. I like to think I know who I am. But, seeing as how this is a leadership class, I’m expecting to learn more about what kind of leader I am and what it’s going to take for me to be a great leader. What does it even mean to be a great leader? What does it feel  like?

                I’ve played volleyball at the University for the past four years and by junior year I was looked at as a leader on the team, and I was aware that I was a leader. Maybe it was because of the expectations that were put on my shoulders, maybe it was because I set the bar in practice (if I even did), I’m not sure exactly why but I was a leader. The sad part is that I never really knew whether I was a good leader or not. People would tell me that I was a great leader that they looked to me, but I never really felt myself being a good leader. I could feel the love and dedication in my heart every day for my teammates, but in a way I was in a constant panic about whether or not I was being great for my team. It was the scariest thing in the world. Knowing that my team was following me, but not having any clue as to where I was leading them. Or even the thought that I was failing as a leader and that my team was following me off a bridge and I didn’t know how to turn them around. I know that this is just me overreacting, but I never actually learned was leadership felt like emotionally, physically, spiritually, etc.

                As I’m moving on to the next chapter in my life, and as I hopefully (fingers crossed) keep moving up the USA ladder, I’d like to discover more about what kind of leader I am and what it feels like to be a great leader.

Kayla